Baby/Family Update... but they aren't babies anymore

This post (and the few to follow shortly) have been looming for months now and weighing on my mind with each passing month I don't get them published.  Since the babies were 10mo old, I've been wanting to write a separate post on each to to encapsulate their individuality....  6+ months later, they have changed so much and their personalities are even more developed - I wish I had captured a snapshot of their 10mo personalities then. But so it goes...  Individual posts on all three coming soon.   

In the meantime, a quick Baby/Family Update.  {Sheepishly}, these photos are actually from a photoshoot I did back in late September.... 

This first photo below (with some help from photoshop) was the best of the bunch, which isn't saying much. All of them are a pretty accurate glimpse into our life, if not exactly pretty... One kid howling, another whining, and the third happy, but loud.  That's our life these days... The phrase I say most often is, "Why is it always so loud around here?"  A friend recently complimented me on how "happy and amazing my life looks on Facebook", ah the delusion of social media!  Yes, we looked like a fun, put-together family on Halloween and who doesn't love a good apple picking family photo? But that's not exactly the whole story.  While I gloss over the days that are a real struggle on Facebook (who wants to hear constant complaining), I don't feel the need to pretend life is idyllic here on my blog.  We have plenty of hard days.  I take comfort in knowing other families with similar kid-dynamics (twins + older sibling) who face the same challenges and who I can lean on for support.  We are not alone.  It is getting better.  We will get through this - even though some days it doesn't feel like we will make it to bedtime in one piece.    

Babies escaping the photoshoot

Too bad you can't see how cute their Big/Little Brother tee-shirts are in this photo! 

Some positive family developments of note: 

• Oliver is treating his brothers much more nicely lately. He doesn't get as upset when they (Lukas mainly) try to play with his "Cars" cars, and he is a willing helper to find a lovey for them, grab something they dropped, etc.  He also shows them affectionate now, which we hardly ever saw in the first year. This is an important one to me - when we first found out we were pregnant with twins, one of our biggest concerns was "How is this going to negatively impact Oliver?".  It really pained me to see him resenting his brothers' existence compared to how I saw other big siblings be protective of their younger siblings.  I look forward to when they can really play with one another.
• We are constantly amazed by how much Alex & Lukas can understand and communicate with us.  It started with them being able to follow the direction "Go get your shoes", but now they are able to communicate back with us, which is immensely helpful and has helped keep the screaming/whining down (well, somewhat).  They go up to their highchairs when they are hungry, can point for things they want, and use some limited sign language.  They can also say Momma, Dadda, Ba, and a few other words that only we can understand.  
• Everyone is sleeping better at night!  This is also a big one.  A&L go to bed between 7:15-7:30pm and have been waking up between 6:15-6:45am.  We are still working on Oliver staying in his bed a bit longer, but his months-long phase (Aug-Oct) of visiting us frequent times in the middle of the night seems to have abated. 
• Adam & I have been focused on getting out and doing things.  We're not only tackling more family outings in the area, but also trips out of town to visit friends and family.  We are even talking about taking a "real" family vacation this summer.  After two years of "staycations", it gives me some hope that we are this brave and willing to spend some money to have some fun.  
• With an au pair and some additional nanny hours on the side, we finally created a better child-care support system than we have had up until now.  An extra set of hands around the house (our au pair) has been helpful when one of us is flying solo and we are putting the additional nanny hours to use giving Adam and I some time out together, a much needed break from the chaos at home.  
• I'm in the process of a major career change next year.  It's exciting to be planning and I can't wait to share more with you soon.  

The less rosy part of our life:

• Oliver: Holy temper-tatrum, batman!  Wow, just wow.  He has had some epic ones lately.  He's like a volcano that you don't know when it will erupt.  One night I thought he was actually going to lose his voice he was screaming "Shut up, Mommy!" so long/loudly.  Wowzers.  We've also hit a particularly whiny phase, which apparently is common at 3.5yrs old.  There are many days that he is a bigger challenge to parent than his siblings.  A friend mentioned on Facebook a parenting analogy of "not picking up the rope", in other words, don't let them drag you into a tug-of-war power of wills, which has been helpful as we learn to ride out the tantrums.  
• Lukas: Feeding Lukas is a nightmare.  While our doctor has said it sounds like run-of-the-mill toddler finickiness, his diet is extremely limited and he has us extremely frustrated and worried.   He went from mainly eating a diet of starch and breakfast food, to now eating a meal that is comprised of 90% Crispix.  This is easily our most challenging daily struggle.  
• Alex: No volume button on this kid.  I'm surprised I haven't gone deaf from him shrieking in my ear. Ouch!  He has the same shriek/scream regardless of whether or not he is happy, excited, mad, hurt, etc...  the noise/volume is exactly the same.  You need to see his facial expression to gauge his emotion.  

I know that months from now, we will somehow remember these moments through rose-colored glasses, but for now, we are definitely in the thick of things, just trying to make it through bedtime each night.